Dear Library Patron

Dear Library Patron,

I know that sometimes it seems that I purposefully give you an answer that you don't want to hear. But, I promise I'm not doing it to make you angry or to mess with your head.

The fact that the computers are down and you can't get on MySpace - NOT MY FAULT. As you can see, it's not just your computer, and chances are these problems are happening at all the libraries. We don't cut out the internet just to piss you off. It causes us WAY more problems than it causes you. You don't have to bite my head off. And NO, I don't know when it's going to come back up.

I apologize that the books don't transport themselves from the shelf at another branch magically into your hands. We haven't perfected our teleportation device yet. If you need it today, you might have to drive to the other branch to pick it up. Again, this is not to piss you off, it's just the way it works.

I apologize that you can't read your reservation ticket. It clearly states which computer number you are assigned to, what time your reservation starts, and (if applicable) how long your wait is. It also tells you that you have 5 minutes to log in to your computer before you lose your reservation. But, please, feel free to yell at me because you can't understand it.

Oh, and it would be appreciated if you said 'thank you' after I spent time helping you find exactly what you needed. I might even say 'you're welcome.'

Thank you and have a nice day,

Your friendly neighborhood librarian.