Librarian wisdom

Sometimes, I just get so proud of myself I can't even help it! I love it when someone comes up to me with a random question, and gives me almost no details about what they are looking for, but yet, I still manage to come up with the answer...or rather, the RIGHT answer. Take this story, for example!!

Today, I can tell a similar story...

A young dad came in with his 7 year old son, looking for Junie B. Jones and other appropriate books for 2nd graders. I helped him find a bunch of stuff, and he's very appreciative. Then he comes to me with this:

Young Dad: There was this book that I read when I was about his age. It was about a frog and some other animals and I remember it was green.

Real Librarian: Um, okay... Well, can you tell me anything else about it?

YD: No, not really. There were more than one of them, though.

RL: It wasn't Frog and Toad, was it? **pulls out a copy of Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel**

YD: Holy crap, that's it!!

Thank you, thank you!! I'm here all week.

Library Question of the Day

A boy of about 8 years old comes into the library with his mom and younger brother.

8-Year Old Boy: Whoa!!! Did you know they had books in here?!?!?!

Library Question of the Day

A man from out of town wants to make a reservation on the computer, and asks for a computer guest pass. I give him his guest pass, and this is the conversation that follows...

Man from Out of Town: Are you going to freestyle?

Real Librarian: I'm sorry?

MOT: Freestyle! Are you going to freestyle?

RL: Um, I'm not sure exactly what you mean...?

MOT: Aren't you a rapper? You need to bust out with some freestyle!!!

RL: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

MOT: **pumps fist to his chest and gives me the peace sign** You get me?!?!

RL: Oh, yeah, I got you!

Ok, so there is no way anyone would confuse ME for a RAPPER. Seriously. Now, I can bust out some Vanilla Ice and Young MC with the best of them. Oh, and Salt & Pepa, some Will Smith, if you please... (Yes, I'm breaking out my 90's rap knowledge. Skool, yo.)

I digress...

Anyway, the point is, I totally don't look like a rapper... I wonder where this dude comes from!!

Library question of the day

Real Librarian: **answering phone** Fabulous Public Library - Most Awesome Branch. May I help you?
Person on Phone: Yes, is this the Most Awesome Branch of the Fabulous Public Library?
RL: Um...yes, yes it is...


Sorry, I just think that's funny.

Library question of the day

As I was walking in to work this morning, there was this little family - a mom, a dad, and an 18 month(ish) old little boy. Now, I get to work 30 minutes before the library opens, so needless to say, we weren't going to be opening for another 30 minutes.

The family is walking up to the door, and they were about to try open the door when...

Real Librarian: I'm sorry, the library doesn't actually open for another 30 minutes.
Young Dad: Oh, that sucks. Can we come in anyway?
RL: Um...no, I'm sorry.

Can we come in anyway?!?! Because we frequently let people in before or after hours...

Question of the Day

So, I'm out of town right now. Someone asked me where I was from, and when I told her I was from Minnesota, this is the question she asked:

"Minnesota, where is that? Over by California, right, on the coast?"

And yes, she was dead serious.

Library question of the day

I really haven't been posting much, so two posts in as many days is insane!! But, I just couldn't let this one go without a mention...

**ring, ring**

Real Librarian: Fabulous Public Library, this is A Real Librarian, can I help you?
Lady Caller: Hi yes, my husband lost our phone, and he thinks it might either be there or at the grocery store.
RL: Ok, well, I don't see anything turned in here at the desk, but I can check in the lost and found for you, too.
LC: Well, it's not like a cell phone...it's our home phone.
RL: *trying not to laugh* Um, okay, well, I'll check. *checks* Nope, I didn't see a phone at all.
LC: Thanks for checking.

I wonder what this lady is thinking about her husband...

I suppose I shouldn't talk, though. Sometimes, while working at the retail store, I carry the cordless phone around hooked onto my pants pocket. Well, one morning, I'm driving back to the store from the bank, when I hear a dialtone. You guessed it, I brought the phone with me to the bank. Nice. At least I didn't take it home, right?!

The joy of audio books

I have always told people how awesome audio books are. But, I have to be perfectly honest with you - I had never really listened to one. I was never really in my car long enough to get into one. When I lived in Nashville, my commute was 5-8 minutes depending on the traffic lights. And my commute to my retail job was only 20ish minutes, and I like to sing in the car.

But the commute to my new FABULOUS library job is about 40-50 (depending on traffic) minutes away from home, and I figured if I'm gonna be working two jobs, this is the perfect way to get some reading in!!

And I LOVE IT!!!! I didn't think I'd be able to concentrate and follow along without having the words in front of me, but I totally get sucked in, and it makes the drive go so much faster! And, working at the library, I have a never ending supply!! YAY!!!

And now, library story of the day...

Library caller: Yes, I was just wondering if you had any programs going on on Thanksgiving.
Real Librarian: Actually, we are closed on Thanksgiving day, but we have some regular programs on the Wednesday before or the Friday after.
LC: You are closed on Thanksgiving?
RL: Um...yeah.

Retail Question of the Day and Giveaway reminder!

So, you might remember a time when I used to post Library Question of the Day. Well, I decided it's time to start incorporating that into the Retail Question of the Day. I mean, there are some questions that get asked in the retail world that are just as...um...interesting as in the library world, right? And who am I to deprive my readers of these very important questions.

So, here is the Retail Question of the Day:

Lady Shopper: So, these say "footless." Does that mean they are footless?
A Real Librarian: Uh...yes, that means they are footless.

Yeah. Great question. ANYWAY... I just wanted to remind y'all I have a giveaway going right now!! So far there are only 3 comments!!! Please, if you haven't entered, you totally should!! And, you should spread the word. In fact, I'll sweeten the pot a little - you'll get an extra entry if you post a SEPARATE comment on that review and giveaway post telling me you blogged about this giveaway - and posting a link to your blog post! Awesome, right? And, as always, remember to include a valid email address where I can get in touch with you - I wouldn't want you to miss out because I couldn't reach you!! Good luck!!!

Welcome 2009!!

Goodbye, 2008!! Welcome 2009!!! I am looking forward to this coming year - I have good feelings about this one!!

I finished my 2008 Book List of everything I read last year. I finished 50 books - I had thought I would read more, but I think 50 is a good number! Take a look - see if there's anything you read or are interested in reading!! One of these days I'll link up all the reviews I did to the list... Maybe when I get internet at home!?

I hope everyone had a marvelous holiday and I wish everyone the best in the coming year! Hopefully this blog will continue with lots more reviews, blog tours, updates and stories and giveaways!! Thanks to everyone for making blogging so fun!!

And now, in honor of "Library Question of the Day," I'm going to give you "Retail Question of the Day."

Woman Shopper: Excuse me, is there any way to try this on without trying it on?
Real Librarian: Um...no...

Library question of the day

Boy Gangsta: What time y'all be closin'?
Real Librarian: **snicker** We will be closing at 8:00.

Is it just me?

Is it just me, or should 10 year olds be able to spell words like "crazy," "monkey," and "games?"

They should at least know what a Y is right?

It takes all kinds

Do I have a story for you!!! This is a good one, I promise. It features a woman that we'll call Crazy Copy Machine Lady. Yes, definitely crazy.

Our story begins at the Adult reference desk, where Crazy Copy Machine Lady runs over to the copy machine. Unfortunately for her, there is already someone using it. She (loudly) asks the man how many copies he needs to make, and he tells her it's none of her business. (Well, he's got a point!)

As she speed walks back past the Adult reference desk, she YELLS at the librarian telling her that the man was RUDE to her and she NEEDS to make a copy. Luckily for CCML, there is another copy machine on the other side of the building by the Children's information desk, which is where CCML enters MY life.

CCML practically runs by my desk (not bothering to stop), where my co-worker and I are sitting.

CCML: (in a loud voice and talking so fast that we can't really understand what she's saying) COPY MACHINE! COPY MACHINE!
Real Librarian: Excuse me?
CCML: (in a voice so loud that she could be heard in the next county) I NEED THE COPY MACHINE, CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?!?!?!
RL: ***stares in shock*** (it's okay that I was too shocked to answer her. Turns out, she knew EXACTLY where the copy machine was.)

This is when my co-worker notices that CCML is carrying a dollar. Now, this wouldn't be a big deal, except that the copy machine in the Children's department is ANCIENT. It takes ONLY dimes and nickles, and only 10 cents at a time, so there is no way that the woman will be able to use her dollar. Rut-Roh...

The next thing you know, she goes running FULL TILT back down the hall to the other copy machine. When she passes the Adult reference desk, she screams for the whole building to hear...

COPY MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes. Well, this is the last that we heard from her. I guess she was able to make her copy and leave.

But that's when I realized something. This CCML is the same woman who months ago told me that I was mean and miserable to people because I was a fat bitch. Yup, she called me a fat bitch - in the same loud tone (well, not the screaming tone, but the louder than normal conversation tone), and caused the 12 people on the computers in the immediate area to stare in shock and horror as she walked away.

The reason she called me a fat bitch? Because I was helping a patron on the phone when she walked up, and wouldn't drop what I was doing to help her. Even though I was standing beside another librarian at the time who was actually sitting at a computer not helping anyone and ready to assist her.

Nice, huh? I told you it was a good one!!!

Library question of the day

Lady Patron: Excuse me, the computer over there says "Out of Service." What does that mean?
Real Librarian: Um, it's out of service - meaning it's broken.
LP: (in a shocked tone) Oh, no way. Huh.

Fahrenheit what?

Teenage Girl: Do you have Fahrenheit 126?
Real Librarian: Do you mean Fahrenheit 451?
TG: Whatever.

It opens?

Wow...just wow...

So, a kid, we'll call him Green Striped T, comes up to the desk and says:

Green Striped T: Where is the index section?
Real Librarian: We don't have an index section, what is it that you are looking for?
GST: I need two books.
RL: Ok, well, I can look those up for you, do you have the titles?
GST: Well, I don't know what books, my teacher just told me to go to the index section and pick 2 books.
RL: Um, ok... Well, what grade are you going into?
GST: Fifth.
RL: **hands GST a brochure with library recommended reading for Fifth graders** Here you go, you can take a look through this and see if there are any titles you are interested in, and I'll look them up for you.
GST: Ok.

A minute later, GST comes back to the desk and plops down two picture books (both books were toddler or preschool level).

GST: Are these Fifth grade books?
RL: No, actually, those are for much younger kids. Did you look at the thing I gave you? Look through it and pick out a couple titles.
GST: This thing has titles on it?
RL: Didn't you open it?
GST: It opens?
RL: Uh, yeah (unfolds the obviously folded brochure to show GST the titles).
GST: Well, how was I supposed to know that?

Um...Ooookay... I'm trying to help you, kid! Anyway, reading the titles on the recommended reading brochure was apparantly way too hard, so he just gave it back to me. And walked away with two easy books that will DEFINITELY not meet his summer reading criteria.

Library question of the day

Computer lady sits down at a computer after making a reservation. After a minute she airplane waves at me (I HATE it when people do this!!!) and beckons me over to her computer.

Computer Lady: This computer says available, why can't I enter in my card number?
Real Librarian: Can I see your reservation? (woman hands over slip). Um, your reservation is for computer number 1.
CL: **Looks at me all confused**
RL: This is computer number 32.
CL: Ooooohhhhhhhhh!!

Um, yeah, you could have come to the desk for that - you had to get your butt off your chair anyway. And please, READ your reservation ticket!!!

Library question of the day

So, today's Library Question of the Day isn't so much about the question...

A lady calls the library looking for some Yoga and Pilates DVDs. I found her a couple good ones, and asked her if she would like to put them on hold.

Real Librarian: I just need your library card number to put these DVDs on hold for you.
Yoga Lady: Sure, just a second...

**flush**

Yup, that's right. She called me from the toilet. I'm sorry, I just don't need to be a part of THAT!!

Side note: Yoga Lady came to pick up her DVD while I was writing this blog post...niiiiiiice.

Library question of the day

A young man, a senior in high school, came in to the library today. I know this kid pretty well, he used to be one of my Volunteens (yes, I said volunTEEN. One of my very own made up words. Feel free to use it!!) a couple of summers ago. He's a great kid, very personable and likable. He didn't volunteen this past summer, because he was plagued with a real job. Bummer! Anyway, D the Volunteen is the proud patron featured in our Library question of the day.

D the Volunteen: Do you have a copy of The Kite Runner on audio?
Real Librarian: Nope, sorry - I actually just checked out our copy yesterday.
DtheV: Damn. I have to read it for class and I still have, like, 200 pages left!
RL: Well, you better get reading then!
DtheV: You read it, right?
RL: Yup, I did!
DtheV: Well, let me ask you a question, then.
RL: Sure!
DtheV: How did the setting reflect...
RL: (not even letting him finish) BWAHAHAHAHA - DtheV, I am SO not doing your homework for you. Go read.

Library question of the day

I'm walking through the library, on my way back from lunch. I had taken a walk with a couple of coworkers before we ate, so I had a bunch of stuff in my hands - including my jacket, tennis shoes, my purse and a water bottle.

A young man walks up to me and asks:

Young Man: Do you work here?
Real Librarian: (Trying to be polite, but to the point) Yes, actually, I do, but I'm at lunch right now. If you go to one of the reference desks, they will be happy to help you.

This actually happens pretty often. I'll be walking out with my coat on and all my stuff gathered and someone will ask me a library related question. Most of the time, I will stop to help them - cuz' I'm nice like that. But it can be a bit irritating.

Not quite as irritating as *this* story, though. I told some friends about this, and my friend Erin offered her own library encounter:

She was working at a library and stepped into the restroom to...go. The next thing she knows, a woman is saying "Excuse me...excuse me?" Then proceeded to ask her how much printing cost at the computer station. Um, HELLO!! I'm a little busy in here!!

Anyone have any other similar patron/customer stories they would like to share?

On a completely different note, FMRNS night last night was awesome!! Our feature of the evening was April Fool's Day (which is a great horror/thriller/mystery with a fabulous twist at the end!! Very entertaining - even though I am not a huge horror fan!!).

Now usually, we have something additional to watch. While America's Next Top Model was on, I taped the show on Wednesday, and we would watch it before the movie. When American Idol is on (it starts NEXT TUESDAY!!! OMG, I CAN'T WAIT!!!), we watch that before we start the feature. Last night, we started the movie pretty early and were excited to find that when it was over it was only 9:00!! So, we jumped in the car and headed to Hollywood Video, where we picked up The Simpson's Movie - which is also on the list. It was our very first DOUBLE FEATURE!!! So, I got to watch two fabulous movies in one night!!!