One of those days

Every so often, you just have one of those days. Every patron who walks in the door is super needy, the kids are extra rambunctious, the wireless is acting up. Oh, and it's cold...and you forgot your sweater.

Wait, that's me. But it is cold, and I did forget my sweater...twice.

*sigh*

Anyway, today was just one of those days. Allow me to tell you a couple of stories.

Our first story comes by way of two young ladies (one of whom had some major eye make-up going on. Like, pink and white vertical stripes with glitter eye make-up. No, I'm not kidding) who were using the computer to print off a coupon. The coupon came with a map of some sort (gotta be honest, I wasn't really paying attention), but they didn't want the map, just the coupon. They sent the coupon to the printer, only to be told that it was going to be 2 pages, thus 30 cents.

Pink Eye: So, I called and they said it would be 15 cents.
Real Librarian: Well, it's 15 cents a page, and this is saying it's 2 pages.
PE: But they said it was only going to be 15 cents on the phone.
RL: Yes, 15 cents a page. There's no way we would be able to tell you how many pages your document was to give you a total price.

For some reason, it was my fault, because they had only brought 15 cents. Luckily, they scrounged their car for another 15 cents, and tragedy was avoided. I hope it was a good coupon!


A woman who used to work with my library system came in to use the wireless. She was having trouble with the site she was trying to access, and wanted to use our public computers to see if it was our wireless or the site she was trying to get on. Since we are a small branch, we don't have very many public computers. She was very upset that a computer sat open and she couldn't get a reservation for over an hour. She then complained when another patron hopped on the open computer and started his reservation.

I guess the reason why I find this to be annoying is because she used to work for the library system. She used to work in a small branch herself. She used to explain the reservation system to patrons multiple times EVERY DAY. Seriously, you're going to get all up in my face about it?! HA! Well, honey, nothing has changed, and there is still nothing I can do about it.


We have a regular patron who comes in with his kids. Like 5 of them. They all come in to use our computers. The kids are usually well behaved, but the dad has not grasped the concept of "library voice," especially in our tiny branch. This dad is also a little smelly and loves to talk. I desperately try to avoid him, but alas, he has discovered me.

Today, he was telling me about how he fell on hard times, how he lives in a trailer park, how he has 5 kids with him today. Then his oldest (maybe? the oldest one of the kids he had with him, anyway), came up to talk to him, and I don't know how it happened, but soon the oldest one is telling me how he doesn't want to date because it's too complicated. Um...ok...

Well, I wish that were the end of that story, but unfortunately... This guy was leaning over the computer his son was on, and we got a nice healthy viewing of butt crack. Seriously, PULL UP YOUR DAMN PANTS!!!


And I have one final note for y'all. I AM NOT A TAX PROFESSIONAL. Seriously. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be asking me what forms you need to file your taxes. I'm a librarian, I didn't study law. I can barely do my own taxes, I should definitely not be doing yours.

Oh, and this prior post about Tax Season is still relevant.


Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Thanks for letting me get that out!! I have to say, 99.9% of the time, I am totally in the "I LOVE my job" camp, but every once in a while, the crazy adds up!!

Dear Library Patron

Dear Library Patron,

I understand that tax season is in full swing, and you want to use our public use computers to do TurboTax, or whatever site you use, to do your taxes. Have at it, but remember these things.

You get one hour on the computer. If there is no wait list for reservations, you do have the option of extending your time. This has to be done BEFORE the computer logs you out, however, otherwise you will lose your work. If you try to extend your time AFTER the computer logs you out, I might just laugh at you.

If there is a reservation for your computer after your hour is up, then there is no way we can extend your time. You have to go and make another reservation. Yes, I know this is frustrating, but you came to the library on a busy evening when there are tons of other people here using the computers.

No, we cannot tell the 10 year old who is surfing his MySpace page that you need his computer. That's not the way it works. You may think that your computer work is more important that MySpace, but that argument won't fly with the 10 year old. Plus, he made his reservation like everyone else, and he gets to use his time.

And the biggest one - NO, I cannot help you do your taxes. I've never used TurboTax, or whatever it is that you are trying to use, and even if I had, I am NOT a certified Tax Professional. Library employees are not allowed to do your taxes for you, and I don't know why you would think that that was a good idea, anyway.

Lucky for you, the library is hosting some real live tax professionals who come in twice a week to help people with their taxes - for FREE. Please stop harassing the nice library employees.

Thank you very much,

Your friendly neighborhood librarian.