Dear Library Patron

Dear Library Patron,

Thank you for coming in to the library today...and every day. It brings joy to all our hearts that you are the first one in the door almost every day in order to make it to one of our public computers.

We don't really appreciate the fact that you constantly look at lingerie ads and things of the sort right in front of our circulation desk, so our fine employees get a nice show of naughtiness every day, but we'll let all that slide.

We will not, however, tolerate your lack of appropriate dress. Please always remember to put on your belt. While it may have been mildly amusing, it was entirely disgusting to see your crack staring at us while you were on the computer.

Thank you,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Librarian