A patron walks into the library

Sometimes I wonder exactly how some people even put on their shoes in the morning.

Teenage Girl (15 or 16 years old) walks up to the desk.

Real Librarian: Can I help you?
TG: I'm on computer 32. I just don't know.
RL: What are you trying to do?
TG: It just won't tell me.
RL: What won't it tell you?
TG: How many. I just don't know.
RL: How many what, exactly?
TG: I don't know, I'm trying to print.
RL: Are you trying to find out how many pages it will print?
TG: Yeah, it won't tell me.
RL: Did you already send the job to the printer?
TG: **total blank stare**
RL: **goes over to the computer to teach the girl how to print and find out how many pages** Ok, it says it's going to be two pages, so it will cost 30 cents.
TG: **holds out 3 quarters and picks one up** I only have 25 cent.
RL: It looks like you have 75 cents.
TG: Well, this is all my granny gave me.
RL: Um, ok. Well, you need the card you logged into the computer with.
TG: What? I don't have a card.
RL: How did you make a reservation and log into the computer?
TG: **blank stare for a minute until a light bulb went on** Ohhhh!!

I won't take you through the rest of it, because I am sure you see where this is going. Sometimes people want to make me want to bang my head against the desk.